My Story

 It is hard to know where it all began. There were glimpses of my heart's desires before I could really even see if for myself.  In college I studied abroad in Sevilla, Spain. I saw the world with new eyes, it evoked curiosity for a pace of life that felt so fresh and new, slow.

 

I returned home to sign up for yoga teacher training. I stopped using chemicals in my skincare and let go of the long list of ingredients I couldn't even interpret in my food. I kept teaching yoga and stood behind my entrepreneurial spirit. I eventually found a forever home that spoke to me and it offered itself lots and lots of land. I built a farm with my husband. I became tied down to my daily tasks here at home, mundane, hardworking and with my hands, quite beautiful really. I found the simple pleasures in caring for a garden and making homemade meals solely off the land. I found whole foods we raised and grew to be healing in every aspect. I grew the muscle to regularly declutter and purge unnecessary items I know longer needed in my home. I noticed that less was more and my initial"wanting" often felt hollow.

 

I had a baby, then another, and then another all naturally and one even right at home. I found a new passion to raise my babies gently and consciously while practicing to re-parent and heal myself. I decided to  claim it was more than enough to raise my babies day in and day out instead of heading into work each day. I kept my creative pursuits alive.

 

​Each one of these choices were whispers heard and intuitively listened to. Not any one of these decisions were technically the right ones but each one led me toward freedom. They were symbols of feeling on the best path suited for me. I crave a full life yet unhurried dedicated to putting in the work to heal and be in the moment. I ask for a simple and slow life to fill up my days. I giggle as my life is far from "slow and simple." It is most often chaotic and messy but... the intention gives room to BE in it all as much as I possibly can while pouring my energy only into exactly what it is that makes me feel alive.​

 

DIGGING DEEPER

The root of it all (if you really want to go there) stemmed from the event that shook me to my core. The day my best friend was diagnosed with Breast Cancer was Saint Patrick's Day, March 17th 2010. As days and years would pass, Kenz and I often contemplated life and death, what it means to really feel fulfilled within our lives while we are here taking up space. Success in the sense of money didn’t mean much beyond a fake fleeting feeling. It could never compare to the raw moments that cannot be bought. I did not want to fall vacant to them.

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To be present was and still is the intention. It is success and a life fulfilled. It is a place of fluidity, lost time, connection, alignment, feeling whatever that is, and oh so much love. I believe it shows up most often for us in the mundane or when we show up for it in slowing down. I think I will always be striving to catch myself in the rush. It is a process with endless mistakes along the way but one I find worth striving for.​

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My anchor... well, my husband and I have been together since I was in the ninth grade. Thank goodness that we have grown up and grown together. We have found a home in the forest of The Finger Lakes, built a farm, taken in more animals than we can count and that includes three wild and free littles. We get to be in this all together. Our lives may be overly chaotic but our values always retreat back to the simple of living close to the earth. It's our roots. Farming is not simple. The ebb and flow of our days, taking care of our animals, the land, it is all the salve that relieves us from the burdens of this world.

 

I often feel overwhelmed between raising my babies, running the farm, a yoga business and who knows what else on any given day.​ I am continuously redirected  to the foundation of what it is all for and what I know to be true. Living slow and simple has become my family's heartbeat. It is the only way I want to absorb this life even if it takes every breath of my life to do so. It is not the destination after all.​ My Mackenzie now no longer sits beside me in this world. I made sure she knew if there was one thing I could act on to honor her, it was to live my best life including the waves that follow her passing. It sounds small in writing this, but I see it as the key of what makes change for us all, starting within ourselves, our own homes, our own community, let it trickle outward.

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My best looks like an ocean of highs and lows, flowing forward only to be thrown back and yet, I haven't broken yet. I keep on. I will continue onward living life simply, fully. I share my story to heal. I share it in hopes that it makes you, my friends, ponder the same questions that will fill in the life best suited for you wherever you may be.  I wish for you to be able to slow down and be present enough to listen in to your own underlying whispers, whatever they may be. It’s all worthwhile this beautiful mess, it  really is.