There Is A Homemaker In All Of Us
I found myself reflecting as I sat in my chair sipping my coffee in the quiet of the morning. Levon will be two years old in a month. I’m trying to savor the baby in him. As I coddled him in my arms I looked across the room reminiscing about the exact space he was born in and that time in my life. I always like to tell him, “you were born right here." Honestly, it still feels all too dreamy to have been real.
This single thought opened up a whole other conversation in my head about what it really was that carried me through that period of my life. I don’t think I can give credit to any one action I took but there was most definitely a foundation laid down that became my anchor at home.
I started to think of the holiday and the happenings around Levon’s birth day a couple years back. Levon was born December 1, 2021. Our home felt like a nest of love, of comfort for me. It was fully decorated for the holiday season which was impressive considering the date my prodromal labor pains began, November 29th. The day my best friend died was the day my labor would begin. There was something deep in my heart that knew home needed to be a sanctuary, my oasis, a place that could hold me tight at this time. I don’t know about you but Christmastime always holds a bit of magic almost as if it has a tangible quality in what it brings. It was some goodness I could carry on into our home.
Zack quite literally carried in our Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I had sent him and the girls off on Monday evening of Kenzie’s death day. It was hard to not be a part of this tradition but I knew it was best to soak in the tub and see if I could get my contractions to slow or stop all together. Slow they did.
Levon finally arrived in my arms Wednesday morning in a small pool off to the side in our living room. I sat on my couch with him only an hour later in the magic sparkle of a newly decorated living room. There was a Christmas tree, candles flickering and a fire burning, music humming behind the scenes. My girls made their way downstairs and were greeted with the new bundle that had arrived in the night.
All of this story with every little detail came to greet me the other day with such greater purpose than a mere memory of it all in itself. These tiny little details that kept me focused on the beauty and the good in the hurricane of those days were essentially what brought me peace in the days, weeks and now years to come. Not that I was clear of the storm ever but I had a safe place to retreat to, a place to rest.
That Charlie Brown Christmas tree was everything. We were able to decorate the tree as a family when Levon was only a day or two old. It was like slow motion watching him sleep on the couch as Christmas music played and Zack would lift Charlotte up to the tippy top of the tree to place the star ornament. The details that can seem so mindless or meaningless can reveal to be what holds you together or even gives space for you to come apart.
So never underestimate what the tone of your home can influence. What you choose to place in it, the way you move about in it, the way it makes you feel and others that you welcome in. Just like the most treasured relationship of whom you trust and confide in, let your home be the one that holds space for all of you.
I spent time, so much time at home in those months and years to follow. You pair an ongoing pandemic with a newborn baby and the loss of a very best friend and home, home was the the exact place to invest trust. Home is what saved me and nourished me when I needed it most. There is a homemaker in each one of us. This story may be a stretch to connect that all for you but for me, its the essence of what it is all about. Oh, I could go on and on about it and get as cliche as home is where the heart is.
I hope that you take the time to clear out the excess of all that the home doesn’t need, keep everything that does speak to you. Light some candles, throw on some tunes like this autumn playlist that will make you swoon, and find the time to make a simple yet satisfying meal like a classic chicken roast that you can share in and enjoy.
I'll declare it one more time... there is a homemaker in each and every one of us. It is not just for the farmer, the wife, the mother, the work from home life. You take care of your home now and it very well may be the one to take care of you when you need it most. It may be the place that allows you to romanticize life. To see the good. And yes, yes this was all that came from a single moment so quiet in the early light of day.