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Embracing the Unexpected: Lessons from the Challenges of Motherhood

Writer's picture: Hayley ParkerHayley Parker

Tiny hands will always reveal their innocence.

"Mama Told Me, there’ll  be days like this" playing behind the scenes as I polish off the last of the dishes and I getting ready to unload early for the evening. It was a day. I retreat to my picture window to sulk. I look out at the snow covered trees, the sky still lit, this trusty space allows for clarity to sink and tears of pure gratitude to run down my face. They are all mine, these babies. They are tiny perfect little human beings and today was a hard day.


 I am not here to pour out my complaints, really quite the opposite, comical seeing how my behavior today was absolutely foul. I will spare you the details and I have all my excuses written up in my back pocket. Today was the perfect disaster. It was one of those days where you fall helpless, unravel. 


Retreating to find solace at the end of this day is all I really need to sift through my thoughts, reflect and usually where new-found solutions emerge from, a place I can pick myself up from. It helps when you have a partner to retreat to, console with and help aid you into a swift recovery. Yes, I have this tendency to try to fix and perfect, knitpick my life problems. To my defense I do find streamlining so much our day and happenings bring a more peaceful atmosphere to our home especially coming from a family that knows how to truly live in the home. And that takes consistent tweaks to our routine.


The thing is we Mamas need these tough days. Maybe I could do without the shame cycle but, I don’t know, maybe not. I need to check myself every once in a while. Can challenges position us to a place where we are better off than before? I often don’t feel enough for these tiny humans of perfection and my expectation for them is far beyond their capacity. They are trying, I am trying and we are all doing our best, that simple. This journey of motherhood is chaotic and messy and the greatest gift there ever was. 


You see, they are holding up the looking glass and what a reveal it all is. It is hard to look at the ugly parts of yourself. Nothing has made me show up more than motherhood. Those constant grabs for attention, do we see these as defiance or a cry for help? “Hey you, you see me?” They intend to say.  What can you see in yourself? So so, much. I can acknowledge this and also fail every single day. Today that is exactly what I felt, failure. But greater than making the mistakes are those littles who are endlessly teaching unconditional love and forgiveness.  And I,  I try to learn from them and reflect it back to them. It often comes back to connection. Slow downing enough to wrap my arms around my baby, kiss that little forehead sweetly and gaze into those dreamy eyes. I see you. 


Busy hands means we teach them young how to be farmhands.

 Today hurt, but I see it for what it is now that I have diffused some. And sometimes, you can chalk it all up to finding out at the end of this long day where you are in your cycle. Can you relate? Today was simply a day, not one I would like to repeat or be too proud of but to learn from. We are all out there doing our best but learning and growing along the way. These littles will show up loving me just as much if not more tomorrow and I will get to try again. What a gift. Forgiveness is what they offer up every single time and isn’t that something? I want to do right by them. Mama will try, try, try. It is never defeat, it is thank you. Thank you. Thank you.


Let this be that one place you are reminded how quick of a season in  your life that this is. Those tiny handprints on your glass door won’t show up there in another couple of years, the mural art on your walls will quickly become your preferred perfect paint color again and you will very well plead to have back the exact days that cause you distress now. It is all so fleeting.


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