Resistance To What Is
I have felt the fight lately. You know the one with yourself that is too familiar and tells you that you are never finished and it is never enough. I have found myself in constant dissatisfaction of what I have accomplished in a day and drowning in the list that is still left. Thank goodness for the opportunity that presents itself when you find yourself in a heap of helplessness.
Where do you go from there?
Things aren’t working and something's gotta give.
Shout out goes to Yoga Girl for calling me out on this craze I’ve been pursuing for too long on her recent podcast episode “Maternity Leave Schmaternity Leave.” I am trying to manage it all and slow down all at the same time. I feel pulled in two different directions. It was a blessing for her words to be spoken, what if it doesn’t all need to get done? My mind makes every justification imaginable to defend the question.
I remember a line from a random booked I read walking out of a bathroom one day, it read “we will leave our list behind when we die.” It all made sense in those simple words. I run around trying to complete what will never be finished. It is so satisfying to have the energy to tackle all I want in a day; it is always insurmountable and yet occasionally I can make it through every last task.
What if everything would be ok without me occasionally?
What if I could focus in enough to notice where my time and energy is placed?
So, it just may not be about what you are running around trying to tackle as much as it is about what is most important for you to do. How can you make room for that one thing?
Media scrolling to name a culprit. It is all consuming and unconscious. All of a sudden 10 minutes is gone. Tending to my emails multiple times a day or replying to every text the moment it comes in. What if, I could take all of that extra time and make time, gain energy for the things that are worthwhile? More time to cook. More time to sit down and read! To learn about cooking or the depths of essential oils? To plan out the farm for Spring? What if I had that much more time with my husband when he gets home from work? To just be with my baby?
Just a thought but one that settles...